Bank Robberies Weaken Legs

If you’re a boxer that struggles to win fights, you’re going to need a second income in this economy. According to the FBI, Martin Tucker chose bank robbery for that second career.

And, he almost got away with it. Well, did get away with it for something like three years. But, eventually the FBI caught up with Tucker. Really, you need to give some serious credit to the navy blue windbreakers on this one.

According to The Detroit News, Tucker handled himself well in the fight. A four round bout, Tucker secured the victory in his hometown. But, it wasn’t all positive for Tucker. He suffered a bloody nose in the fight. This played right into the hands of the FBI special agent who was savvy enough to realize two dudes hitting each other in the face in what I’d imagine was a dingy smoke filled Toledo fight club might produce some DNA.

The nose bleed was stopped with a q-tip and that q-tip was tossed aside without much care for the Robbery of a Monroe County Credit Union in 2009. The FBI agent picked it up and…boom, roasted.

brought the swab to an FBI lab that matched its DNA to genetic material from a black mask worn by one of the robbers, according to a criminal complaint.

Tucker, 32, of Toledo was arrested Tuesday and charged with robbing a bank and using a firearm during a crime of violence.

And, now you also know why Ben Affleck was dousing chemicals all over the bank and burning getaway cars in The Town.


Beyond a Reasonable Doubt: Movie Review

Even if you don’t watch a lot of movies, the twists in this movie will still bore you and come off as cheesy. Seriously, even if the only movie you’ve ever seen is The Lion King, you will still watch these twists unfold and register zero shock.

Probably not the intention they were going for, but, that’s Beyond a Reasonable Doubt. A remake of a film from the 50s. You have a District Attorney who has rattled off a string of murder convictions. A number so high that he is well beyond “He’s On Fire!” territory in NBA Jam. He’s a good District Attorney, is what they’re trying to establish with that (and a really cheesy closing statement line that the lead character eats up). But, wait! There’s more. A reporter has “uncovered” that the District Attorney, played by Michael Douglas in a role so brutal that undoubtedly had to make Douglas wonder what it would be like if he brought his Falling Down role to reality, is planting DNA/forensic/CSI! evidence on crime scenes that consist of otherwise circumstantial evidence. The reporter, played by some dude I’ve never heard of, seeks to bring him down based on very little evidence that they reveal to the audience. How does he have to do this? Well, of course he has to find a murder, and then plant circumstantial evidence that HE, the reporter, committed the murder, then wait for the DA to plant forensic evidence.

Of course.

The concept more or less only works as a comedy, yet, this was trying to pull off a Thriller.

Orlando Jones provides the strongest performance. That’s about all the positive I can say about this film. Amber Tamblyn appeared to be comfortably rested in her scenes, possibly taking naps while actually filming the scenes as they were so tepid, would be the next most positive thing.

Here’s the best part of this film. And by best, I mean “the thing I googled and laughed about the most” while watching. The main character is doing a news story for TV on the DAs alleged transgressions in order to win a Pulitzer Prize. The wikipedia page for the Pulitzer Prize says the following, “The Pulitzer Prize is a U.S. award for achievements in newspaper and online journalism, literature and musical composition.”

Click Read More if you want the rest of the review, but, be warned, it contains SPOILERS. As frankly, this movie is so bad that the only way I can handle writing about it is by covering the spoilers.

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What the hell happened to John Grisham?

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to read a book where a character gets wrongfully executed after a lengthy fight with the legal system, only to have it revealed the character was indeed wrongfully executed…all the while, the reader completely couldn’t care less emotionally about the character?

If not, you probably haven’t read The Confession by John Grisham. A book in which the author seemingly set out to answer just that question.

Look, there was a point in which I loved John Grisham. I’ve read everything of his outside of the kids books he is now writing, and some of the non-legal stuff. And, even then I did read A Painted House and Bleachers. Unfortunately. You don’t read that many of one authors works unless at some point there was something real there that I absolutely enjoyed. I can tell you that The Client was the first book I’ve read. I can also tell you the exact location I was when I read one of the Klan scenes in A Time to Kill.

So, there undoubtedly was a point where I considered Grisham really good at what he did. But, reading his work these days, it just feels like he is on auto-pilot. Is it completely silly for me to sit here and criticize that? Absolutely. I wish I had the ability to have an inherent grasp on how to pace a novel so well that he can continue to write a lot of predictable stuff, with fairly vapid characters and not have people call him on it.

But, at the same time, I’ve absolutely read The Associate, The Appeal, The Broker and The Last Juror and can’t tell you a damn thing about them. They resonated with me none. I had high hopes for The Confession as the subject matter was something that should be thought provoking and it seems to be close to Grisham on a personal level. Grisham is active with the Innocence Project, and frankly anything that he can do to bring attention to that great work is undoubtedly needed. I just couldn’t help but not give a damn about the book, though.

I don’t know the exact point in which I think Grisham fell off, but, if I name The Testament, The Brethen, The Street Lawyer, The Summons and The Last Juror, I probably couldn’t really tell you much about them. But, I did enjoy those more than the recent ones that I couldn’t tell you much about.

A Time to Kill is one of my all time favorites. I loved The Client, loved The Runaway Jury, but, he’s been crazy formulaic for a long time now. Yet, I’ve read everything. So, I guess, really, I’m not sure if that says more negative about him or I…and I’m certainly leaning towards myself.

Seriously, why can’t I quit John Grisham?

I guess it’s mainly because you know there is greatness there. That’s obvious. With each new book, I keep hoping to be taken back to a time where Grisham took some risks with what he was writing. It just hasn’t happened.

Damages Season #(forget numbers – back from the dead) Premieres Tonight

I actually forget the number of seasons Damages had on the F/X Network, and that’s the reason for the headline. The problem? It only returns on DirectTV. Although, clearly, that’s not a problem for those of you with DirectTV, the revival of the show will most likely come via DVD for a lot of fans of the show.

Damages, starring Glenn Close and Rose Byrne, was a show I always enjoyed, but, it never rated quite high enough with me to make it consistent viewing. I’d be all over it now that I’ve got the DVR in play, but, no DirectTV. I actually don’t think I saw any of season 3 of Damages, so, this certainly isn’t a post where I’ll delve deep into Damages, it’s more of a, “do you have DirectTV? Hey, watch it” type deal.

My slip away from the show happened when they iced Zeljko Ivanek in Season 1. He showed up flashback style in the other seasons, but, I was out of the loop. Plus, Ted Danson went from starring to recurring. Ivanek and Danson were the strength of the show, for me, but, still, it always seemed like it had potential, just never had momentum. Every time I watched Season 2 and 3, they didn’t seem to so much continue Season 1 and instead seemed to say, “oh, you’re not watching? The hell with it, we’re going to ante up and kick all-in.”

That sort of television making seemed to work well with The Wire, but, really, that’s credit to the greatness of The Wire. While Damages seemed like a good, but not great show, that just didn’t inspire me to put the work in to really buy in to the series. It always seemed like the show engaged their audience. That’s always a tougher sell. But, again, when it works it can work really well.

There are tons of television shows that are just awful, but, continually get chances based on their fluff nature, so it’s great to see a show like Damages get a second life on DirectTV. Reading about the show, it seems as if things get somewhat of a fresh start, so, don’t be afraid to tune in if you haven’t caught previous seasons. Just be ready for Glenn Close to bring manipulation to crazy high levels.

Great Moments in (fictional) Courtroom History

I’m going to try and run one of these every Friday morning. Straight forward, whatever I can find on YouTube that I enjoy, to fit in with the talk we’ll have here about legal moments in the movies, TV and more.

Love this scene, love the show. Omar testifying against Bird from Season Two of The Wire. The Wire is the best show I’ve seen in handling legal affairs. Omar may take a cynical outlook on the legal system, but, with what his character has seen in his life, why wouldn’t he? And when it comes to Maurice Levy? He’s spot on. More Omar goodness when you hit read more.

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Michigan to review law regulating baby-sitting

I posted an article to Twitter this morning about a Michigan law that a state agency claims a woman is violating by watching the children of several sets of neighbors as they wait for a school bus. The article was picked up by the front page of Yahoo, so is likely getting some widespread exposure today.

Here is the core of the article:

IRVING TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Each day before the school bus comes to pick up the neighborhood’s children, Lisa Snyder did a favor for three of her fellow moms, welcoming their children into her home for about an hour before they left for school.

Regulators who oversee child care, however, don’t see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued, she’d be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.

According to the article, she did so because the other families were working and could not watch their children. To help out her neighbors, not to run a day-care. The situation provides an interesting look at the law and how it interacts with people on a daily basis. Specifically, in how we take situations in our daily lives to better the law.

Governor Jennifer Granholm and other state representatives look to be attacking this situation head-on, as new legislation that would exempt situations like this one is currently being drafted.