Bank Robberies Weaken Legs

If you’re a boxer that struggles to win fights, you’re going to need a second income in this economy. According to the FBI, Martin Tucker chose bank robbery for that second career.

And, he almost got away with it. Well, did get away with it for something like three years. But, eventually the FBI caught up with Tucker. Really, you need to give some serious credit to the navy blue windbreakers on this one.

According to The Detroit News, Tucker handled himself well in the fight. A four round bout, Tucker secured the victory in his hometown. But, it wasn’t all positive for Tucker. He suffered a bloody nose in the fight. This played right into the hands of the FBI special agent who was savvy enough to realize two dudes hitting each other in the face in what I’d imagine was a dingy smoke filled Toledo fight club might produce some DNA.

The nose bleed was stopped with a q-tip and that q-tip was tossed aside without much care for the Robbery of a Monroe County Credit Union in 2009. The FBI agent picked it up and…boom, roasted.

brought the swab to an FBI lab that matched its DNA to genetic material from a black mask worn by one of the robbers, according to a criminal complaint.

Tucker, 32, of Toledo was arrested Tuesday and charged with robbing a bank and using a firearm during a crime of violence.

And, now you also know why Ben Affleck was dousing chemicals all over the bank and burning getaway cars in The Town.

Hey Lions Fans, Don’t do this Next Season

The Detroit Lions will make the playoffs next year. They are a Franchise on the rise, and, hey, as long as they have Calvin Johnson, they’re going to scare some folks.

Speaking of trying to scare some folks:

The Saints were pulling away in the second half of a Jan. 7 wild card playoff game when stadium officials received a call from a man who said, “I will blow up your building.”

Simple.

Yes, this man, a Shawn Payton of Jackson, Michigan, called the SuperDome…excuse me, the MERCEDES BENZ Superdome and did this number. But, wait, there’s more:

the Superdome took another call: “Hi, I want you to relay a message to the sideline. If your stupid Southern team keeps winning, there will be reper…severe consequences. OK?” said the voice on the phone.

Good job representing Michigan by not even knowing how to pronounce the word “repercussions,” pal. Although, to be fair, Stupid Southern Team is a better team name than the Saints.

Relax, folks, this story does have a fairytale ending…

…If by fairytale ending you mean pleading guilty to a felony count of transmitting threats to injure in interstate communications, which holds a maximum penalty of five years and/or $250,000 fine. Oh, and the Lions still lost, unfortunately.

From time to time, I do get frustrated and go off without meaning it, ” he said.

Here’s the thing, I’m guessing the Court will be rather lenient with this guy and he’ll get some kind of probation and anger management, and maybe a recommendation to purchase a stress ball. But, when Roger Goodell gets a hold of him? Watch out!

Amazingly, this guy is still less of an embarrassment to the Lions than Matt Millen.

Kelsey Grammer’s BOSS: Television Review

This isn’t quite legal television, but, my goal with this blog was to discuss legal issues and legal entertainment, so I’ll try to sneak this in. The show focus is on the Mayor of Chicago and indications are that the scope will be fairly large. Plus, the only legal television show of the fall season I’ve attempted to watch is the second season opener of Harry’s Law and I’ve only made it through the first 20 minutes.

The big talk about Boss, which airs Friday nights (and lots of other nights) on the STARZ channel is that Kelsey Grammer stretches well outside of his Frazier Crane comfort zone to play the Mayor of Chicago and yell a while lot. Grammer’s performance has been getting praise from what I can see, but, I felt the main scene where he was trying to come off as a tough guy felt a bit flat and forced.

And, really, that’s my impression of the show overall after one episode. It doesn’t seem content with being a slow burn type of show. They want to make the action happen in a very traditional TV sense, while maintaining the feel of something like The Wire. Which is somewhat difficult to obtain, especially in a political show.

As an example of this, two scenes stand out other than the Grammer yelling scene. One, when he shuts down the city council meeting and doesn’t let anyone leave until they agree with his course of action. And, later, the scenes with his doctor and Grammer getting the prescription drugs he needs.

This softens a bit in episode two, which is good. Seeds are planted for the Mayor’s daughter going an illegal route to save her clinic by purchasing the needed drugs illegally, but, it wasn’t beat over your head like things in the pilot were.

There is some good stuff here and I think the scope certainly sets up very wide, and I like that potential. There’s some silliness through two episodes that is designed to bring viewers in, but, a show of this nature can’t last on that alone. So, in that sense, I liked the second episode more for the long term potential of the show. And, a positive is that the show has been renewed for a second season, so it seems like it will at least be granted the space to grow.

OK, this is pretty cool…

Michigan State is looking to put together a solid run through the Big Ten this year, especially if Ohio State is slowed by their off-the-field issues (which now look rather insignificant when put alongside Miami bringing their A-Game in that department). MSU held a “Meet the Spartans” event today, here’s a solid story from the event:

NOT SO FAST: George Clark VII of Portage is a Michigan fan — for now. He went home with a story to tell and a souvenir that might be a reason to start rooting for the Spartans. Clark, 10, wore a maize and blue T-shirt featuring the block M. Dantonio took notice of the shirt, waved the boy over and signed inside the block M: “Not so fast! Go Green! Mark Dantonio.”

Kid probably thought he was so cool showing up with the Maize at an MSU event, too. Slick move by Dantonio.

How do you Tweet a Legal Brief?

Texas is trying to find out.

Texas appellate lawyers are being challenged to write a Twitter-length brief in 140 characters or less.

The State Bar of Texas Appellate Section is holding the Twitter brief competition for lawyers attending its annual meeting in September, according to the Texas Lawyer blog Tex Parte.

She gives an example: “Honorable court, the claim has been waived. Respectfully submitted, appellee.”

Crazy, right?

On the one hand, writing shorter and more concise is a skill lawyers absolutely need to know how to do. We are some verbose cats when it shakes down. So, I can see why they would run this type of competition. Obviously they aren’t looking for top-notch legal work in 140 characters, but, it uses hyperbole to jam a good concept home.

On the other hand, do we really need to embolden the folks who type “ur” instead of “your”? Dangerous, dangerous territory. So, it’s a good thing Texas is trying to sort this out first.

If I were entering this competition, here’s what I’d go with:

“Not guilty, ya’ll got to feel me!” From the Jay Z anthem H to the Izzo. If you write that in a brief to a judge, your client is undoubtedly on his way home from court a free man. And you still have about 100 characters to play with!

For fun, I also opened up the last brief I submitted to the Court and Twitterized it:
“Yo Court traffic stop for improper window tint unaccept no artic or reason suspicion for stop. police report unreliable. suppress. plz. thx.”

Even managed to say please and thank you. I’ll be sure to pass along the winning tweet whenever that information comes down. By, “be sure” I mean, no chance, because I’ll forget about this tomorrow, but, the concept is cool.

Also, I guarantee some knucklehead in Texas will write his brief and use 1 of his characters as a footnote…then write the regular 20 page appellate brief in the footnotes and think about how awesome he is.

Great Moments in (fictional) Courtroom History

I’m going to try and run one of these every Friday morning. Straight forward, whatever I can find on YouTube that I enjoy, to fit in with the talk we’ll have here about legal moments in the movies, TV and more.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEuljvGB-YU]

We got a request last week for a clip from Big Daddy in this section. And, let’s face it, if there’s one thing I know I can do…it’s shamelessly pander to people who actually visit this blog.

“If OJ can get away with murder, why can’t Sunny have his kid? This guy knows what I’m talking about.”