Things you Shouldn’t Do While Cooking Meth in a Wal-Mart

It’s a short list, because most people, when they ask themselves the question, should I cook this meth in a Wal-Mart, the answer is decidedly no. But, the list has to exist for a reason. On that list?

  1. Don’t shoplift while Cooking Meth in a Wal-Mart

That is the extent of the list. However, a woman in South St. Louis County apparently did not adhere to that rule.

A customer cooking a so-called “one pot” batch of methamphetamine inside a pop (*Editor’s Note: Soda, fool*) bottle in her purse caused the Thursday night evacuation of the South County Walmart store.

The woman was caught shoplifting an item unrelated to meth-making when store security and then police discovered the 20-ounce bottle, St. Louis County police Lt. Mark Cox said.

I had no idea you could cook meth in a 20-ounce bottle. But, I haven’t watched nearly enough Breaking Bad.

I guess the convenience of cooking meth in a Coca-Cola bottle makes sense these days. What, with people always on the go, who wants to cook meth in their basement and deal with having to clean that mess up? In a society where Twitter has become King, of course Meth is going to become portable.

“There are lots of one-pot cooks,” Cox said. “But taking it into Walmart is very unusual.”

Lets just go ahead and add the words, “that I know of.” to the end of that sentence, Mr. Cox.

Cox said it did not appear the woman was trying to steal any of the ingredients used in the meth-making process and did not begin making the concoction inside the store.

This is really the best part of the story. She got stopped stealing just random goods. But, I guess on the bright side the woman was extremely confident in her ability to Retail Fraud.


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